21 Alternate Ways to Sabotage Your Dissertation

Rely on someone other than yourself (or on no-one) to control your dissertation process.
Aim high – way high: Plan to redefine the field with your work.
Don't plan your dissertation project or make timelines; you've got it all under control, and besides, there's plenty of time.
Choose a nice broad topic.
Don't have a problem to tackle, or at least not one that you can come to a conclusion about.
Don't make a thesis statement about your problem.
If you do make a thesis statement, be sure not to delineate it.
Write a vague proposal and get it passed.
Research the secondary literature forever – you may have missed something after all!
Just get the primary data any old way – how can anyone tell whether it is good or bad?
Tell your supervisor that he or she is wrong – do this often and with conviction.
Let your method take care of itself.
You know your stuff – ignore all the nonsense about structuring your dissertation. Just write it.
Don't reference or quote other scholars. If you do, do it seldom and make sure their work is out of date.
Alternately, include lots of irrelevant or marginally relevant material: More is better after all.
Also good – wait for someone to come out with that information that you need to do your dissertation.
Make sure that every sentence you write is perfect – the first time around.
Don't come to a conclusion or, if you do, make sure it has very little to do with what you started out to investigate.
Ignore institutional guidelines – they have nothing to do with the quality of your work.
Don't let your supervisor know how far you are or what you're doing. Never hand in drafts for comments. This one works, whether or not you present him or her with a fait accompli later.
Don't edit. You wrote it all down, what more could they want?